If you have been brave enough to leave mormonism, scientology, JW or any other cult, I want to hear YOUR story. Feel free to message me on youtube or leave a comment on the bottom of my blog. Thanks everybody. :)
I deeply admire your integrity! I wish that I would have had so much courage at your young age. It took me many decades before I could muster sufficient self esteem to realize that there was nothing "wrong" with me and finally get the hell out of the Mormon Cult.
By the way, you might want to expand your explanation of what Mormons believe about the afterlife with a few more juicy details.
For example, to enter the "highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom" and be with Elohim himself (there are apparently different "levels" there), you must accept and practice polygamy. That's right: the general authorities try to pretend that Mormons no longer practice polgamy, but that is a half-truth. It *IS* god's law to be practiced by the most "righteous" throughout eternity.
In fact, Mormons still practice it sequentially, just not simultaneously. For example, if Ann Romney were to die, Mitt could marry again "for time and all eternity" and have both wives in the hereafter. If Mitt were to die, however, Ann could marry again but only "until death do them part," because she "belongs" to Mitt. Funny how nobody ever asks about these details when interviewing him, huh?
Also, there is "outer darkness" in the afterlife, the worst fate of all, i.e., where those who have been to the temple, and then apostatize and renounce those "covenants," will be sent forevermore with Satan. It is the Mormon "hell," but without the fire and brimstone: a complete and utter void of darkness, solitude, nothingness, and misery.
My dad's family is very Mormon; both of my grandparents, and five of their eight children, and all their spouses and offspring. My dad was/is completely inactive but had no qualms with my grandparents, aunts, and uncles trying to sway my religious stance, so I was pretty Mormon for a bit, and my mom too, as she was married to a Mormon man. I lived with them in Utah for about seven years.
I attended sacrament, primary, had my own little Junior Book of Mormon (as well as the actual one), and at eight years old I was baptized. It wasn't until my early teens when I started to really notice my homosexual feelings that I felt an ever-expanding gap between myself and Mormon beliefs. In addition to the fact that I still didn't have a testimony, or any real reason to be Mormon aside from simply being TOLD "the Church is true", I also started to become more and more estranged from my family when they too noticed I was gay.
I suppose you could say my homosexuality is a prevalent deciding factor that the Church is NOT true for me, seeing as how it's a big no-no. But even so, if I weren't gay, I'm pretty sure I'd have grown to disagree with the religion anyway.
Thanks for your blog and videos :) It's interesting hearing the perspective of another ex-Mormon.
Wow, this is really how people spend their time? Tearing down other religions and then calling it integrity? Who cares what people believe? How is it really hurting you?
Thanks for your videos, for us that relate it's nice to see.
I was born in utah, raised in utah, and am still in utah. My family consisting of mother, father, and 4 brothers including myself all went to church every sunday. We have had our issues, but what family doesn't. The key is to appear normal on sunday to avoid being talked about in ward counsel.
I went up to college at USU right after graduating and had my own little rebellious stage for a semester. But a strong *spiritual* experience brought me to my senses. I repented, and left on a mission 7 months later right after turning 19.
I served my mission in Sacramento, during the prop 8 ordeal. I was a defender of the faith and a promoter of upholding traditional family values. Though i had unrest in myself over certain issues I stuck to the spirit that taught me all truth.
I returned home from my mission wanting nothing more to be a strong priesthood holder the rest of my life and to find a gal to call my own. In the back of my mind however i was quite unsettled.
It started with a few things.
My parents marriage has been on the rocks off and on for over 15 years. I was use to it, for me it was normal. While attending college when I returned home I was surprised to find and old RM friend of mine had left the church and was in a civil union. It didn't change my opinion of him, but i was sad that his happiness couldn't last. Either way, i hung out with him and his partner, who are now 2 of my best friends. The happiness I began to see in their civil union,(as opposed to my parents eternal temple marriage) made my unsettling feelings finally surface. And this time, i wasn't going to let my guilt override and not let me see it through. How could my 2 friends be so happy if 1. their relationship is pure evil. 2. they weren't married in the temple. and 3. they didn't know if they'd be together for ever or not?
Because of this one question i decided, rather than take everything at face value, i was going to find out what my religion truly taught, not just the fluff that was happy enough to teach investigators. If i found out it was true and made me happy, i'd be stronger than ever. But if i found it wasn't true for ME, i would leave and face the consequences.
Over time i came to the conclusion that my unsettling feelings were actually unhappiness. Unhappiness due to not truly knowing who i was. I was living what everyone else told me was right and what would make me happy, but I didn't believe that. So I left. I left and then came the overwhelming feeling of. Who am I, and what is my purpose. Being raised in the church you're told these things, so finding yourself in it isn't very hard. But finding self in a world you've never seen before is terrifying. But thankfully, Over time the fear turned into joy as i realized, everyday i now get to find myself. Everyday my decisions are purely my own. If i make a mistake, thats MY mistake to learn from. If i see someone in need, thats MY choice to go and help with no thought of heavenly reward or the opposing eternal damnation. I have been home from my mission for almost 2 years and I am now a happy agnostic. I don't know what will happen after I die, or if i will see lost loved ones again. Instead of making me sad though, this makes my life more fulfilling. I love and live more than I ever did before because there is no fear in me of the uncertain. What ever happens happens, and all I can do is make sure I am the best me I can be while helping others along the way to their happiness. Personal Integrity is my religion, and I LOVE it!
Thanks for the great info, here's another source if you don't know of it yet.
ReplyDeletehttp://sourceflix.com/
Sent you my story via youtube. Keep fightin' the good fight, Spidey!
ReplyDeleteI deeply admire your integrity! I wish that I would have had so much courage at your young age. It took me many decades before I could muster sufficient self esteem to realize that there was nothing "wrong" with me and finally get the hell out of the Mormon Cult.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, you might want to expand your explanation of what Mormons believe about the afterlife with a few more juicy details.
For example, to enter the "highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom" and be with Elohim himself (there are apparently different "levels" there), you must accept and practice polygamy. That's right: the general authorities try to pretend that Mormons no longer practice polgamy, but that is a half-truth. It *IS* god's law to be practiced by the most "righteous" throughout eternity.
In fact, Mormons still practice it sequentially, just not simultaneously. For example, if Ann Romney were to die, Mitt could marry again "for time and all eternity" and have both wives in the hereafter. If Mitt were to die, however, Ann could marry again but only "until death do them part," because she "belongs" to Mitt. Funny how nobody ever asks about these details when interviewing him, huh?
Also, there is "outer darkness" in the afterlife, the worst fate of all, i.e., where those who have been to the temple, and then apostatize and renounce those "covenants," will be sent forevermore with Satan. It is the Mormon "hell," but without the fire and brimstone: a complete and utter void of darkness, solitude, nothingness, and misery.
My dad's family is very Mormon; both of my grandparents, and five of their eight children, and all their spouses and offspring. My dad was/is completely inactive but had no qualms with my grandparents, aunts, and uncles trying to sway my religious stance, so I was pretty Mormon for a bit, and my mom too, as she was married to a Mormon man. I lived with them in Utah for about seven years.
ReplyDeleteI attended sacrament, primary, had my own little Junior Book of Mormon (as well as the actual one), and at eight years old I was baptized. It wasn't until my early teens when I started to really notice my homosexual feelings that I felt an ever-expanding gap between myself and Mormon beliefs. In addition to the fact that I still didn't have a testimony, or any real reason to be Mormon aside from simply being TOLD "the Church is true", I also started to become more and more estranged from my family when they too noticed I was gay.
I suppose you could say my homosexuality is a prevalent deciding factor that the Church is NOT true for me, seeing as how it's a big no-no. But even so, if I weren't gay, I'm pretty sure I'd have grown to disagree with the religion anyway.
Thanks for your blog and videos :) It's interesting hearing the perspective of another ex-Mormon.
Just got done escaping Mormonism. Looking forward to hearing more from you. Much love!
ReplyDeleteWow, this is really how people spend their time? Tearing down other religions and then calling it integrity? Who cares what people believe? How is it really hurting you?
ReplyDeleteThanks for your videos, for us that relate it's nice to see.
ReplyDeleteI was born in utah, raised in utah, and am still in utah. My family consisting of mother, father, and 4 brothers including myself all went to church every sunday. We have had our issues, but what family doesn't. The key is to appear normal on sunday to avoid being talked about in ward counsel.
I went up to college at USU right after graduating and had my own little rebellious stage for a semester. But a strong *spiritual* experience brought me to my senses. I repented, and left on a mission 7 months later right after turning 19.
I served my mission in Sacramento, during the prop 8 ordeal. I was a defender of the faith and a promoter of upholding traditional family values. Though i had unrest in myself over certain issues I stuck to the spirit that taught me all truth.
I returned home from my mission wanting nothing more to be a strong priesthood holder the rest of my life and to find a gal to call my own. In the back of my mind however i was quite unsettled.
It started with a few things.
My parents marriage has been on the rocks off and on for over 15 years. I was use to it, for me it was normal. While attending college when I returned home I was surprised to find and old RM friend of mine had left the church and was in a civil union. It didn't change my opinion of him, but i was sad that his happiness couldn't last. Either way, i hung out with him and his partner, who are now 2 of my best friends. The happiness I began to see in their civil union,(as opposed to my parents eternal temple marriage) made my unsettling feelings finally surface. And this time, i wasn't going to let my guilt override and not let me see it through. How could my 2 friends be so happy if 1. their relationship is pure evil. 2. they weren't married in the temple. and 3. they didn't know if they'd be together for ever or not?
Because of this one question i decided, rather than take everything at face value, i was going to find out what my religion truly taught, not just the fluff that was happy enough to teach investigators. If i found out it was true and made me happy, i'd be stronger than ever. But if i found it wasn't true for ME, i would leave and face the consequences.
Over time i came to the conclusion that my unsettling feelings were actually unhappiness. Unhappiness due to not truly knowing who i was. I was living what everyone else told me was right and what would make me happy, but I didn't believe that.
So I left.
I left and then came the overwhelming feeling of. Who am I, and what is my purpose.
Being raised in the church you're told these things, so finding yourself in it isn't very hard. But finding self in a world you've never seen before is terrifying.
But thankfully, Over time the fear turned into joy as i realized, everyday i now get to find myself. Everyday my decisions are purely my own. If i make a mistake, thats MY mistake to learn from. If i see someone in need, thats MY choice to go and help with no thought of heavenly reward or the opposing eternal damnation.
I have been home from my mission for almost 2 years and I am now a happy agnostic. I don't know what will happen after I die, or if i will see lost loved ones again. Instead of making me sad though, this makes my life more fulfilling. I love and live more than I ever did before because there is no fear in me of the uncertain. What ever happens happens, and all I can do is make sure I am the best me I can be while helping others along the way to their happiness.
Personal Integrity is my religion, and I LOVE it!
Nathan